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- It's in The Book (Parts 1 and 2)
- Johnny Standley
-
- I have a message for you - a very sad message!
- My subject for this evening will be Little Bo Peep.
- It says here, "Little Bo Peep, who was a little girl,
- has lost her sheep,"
- "And doesn't know where to find them."
- Now that's reasonable, isn't it?
- It's, it's reasonable to assume, if Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep,
- It's only natural that she wouldn't know where to find them.
- That, that basically is reasonabl-l-le, but, uh, "leave them alone".
- Now that overwhelms me, à, completely overwhelms me.
- The man said she lost her sheep, turns right around and boldly states,
- "She doesn't know where to find them".
- And then has the stupid audacity to say, "Leave them alone"!
- Now! Now, now think for a moment! Think!
- If the sheep were lost, and you couldn't find them,
- You'd have to leave them alone, wouldn't you?
- So, "Leave them alone". "Leave them alone".
- It's in the book!
-
- "Leave them alone and they", they being the sheep, "they will come
- home".
- Ah yes, they'll come home.
- Oh, there'll be a brighter day tomorrow, they will come home!
- It's in the book.
-
- "They will come homeà a-waggin' their tailsà".
- Pray tell me what else could they wag?
- "They will come home a-waggin' their tales à behind themà behind
- them"!
- Did we think they'd wag them in front of them?
- Of course, they might have come home in reverse.
- They could have done that, I really don't know.
- But, none the less, it's in the book.
-
- So now if you will, kindly pick up your books, and turn to page 222.
- We'll ask you all to sing.
- You'll find your books on the backs of your seats.
- Are we ready?
-
- Everyone, 222. Let's really enjoy ourselves, let's live it up.
- All together.
-
- Do you remember grandma's lye soap?
- Good for everything in the home,
- And the secret was in the scrubbing,
- It wouldn't suds and couldn't foam.
-
- Then let us sing right out of grandma's, of grandma's lye soap
- Used for - for everything, everything on the place,
- For pots and kettles, the dirty dishes, and for your hands and for
- your face.
-
- So we'll now sing the second verse.
- Let's get it with great exuberance, let's live it up.
- It's not raining inside tonight.
- Everyone, let's have a happy time.
- Are we ready? All together, the second verse.
-
- Little Herman and brother Thurman
- Had an aversion to washing their ears
- Grandma scrubbed them with the lye soap.
- And they haven't heard a word in years.
-
- Then let us sing right out of grandma's, of grandma's lye soap.
- Sing all out, all over the place.
- The pots and kettles, the dirty dishes, and also hands and also fà.
- (clapping fades)
-
- Well, let's sing what's left of the last verse.
- Let's have a happy time, everyone.
- The last verse, al-l-l-l together.
- Ev-v-v-very one!
-
- Mm-m-m-m. Thank you kindly, kindly,
- M-m-mrs. O'Malley, out in the valley,
- Suffered from Ulcers, I understand.
- She swallowed a cake of grandma's lye soap,
- Has the cleanest ulcers in the land.
-
- Then let us sing right out of grandma's, of grandma's lye soap.
- Sing right out. All over the place.
- The pots and - the pots and pans, oh dirty dishes,
- And the handsàà..
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- From: Dave Rackowitz
- http://people.mw.mediaone.net/drackowitz
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